I've been sitting here for twenty minutes now, with my heart pounding hard, and my brain trying to assimilate the information it just received from my eyeballs. Ferrari confirmed a hybrid car, and the only explanation I can give you right now, is that Luca Cordero had some roofies in his drink. This guy recently went berserk, when he claimed surely that there ''WILL NOT BE A FOUR DOOR FERRARI...EVER!'' So where was this hybrid idea conceived? I can bet my left leg, that it has something to do with the new EU laws, which force car firms to balance out their CO2 emissions. Or in other words ''Carbon offsetting''. But I still can't see a reason why Ferrari should embarrass itself with a Gay-green car.
The only thing I can imagine being more fascinating than driving a Ferrari with the electro-motor from a household fan in the back, is prostate milking. You pass by with your Ferrari whining like a ''Dyson'' vacuum cleaner, which will cause your dignity to melt like the morning frost. How can someone claim that meeting a V12 6 liter monster with a 10 horsepower electro-motor, and half a ton worth of lithium-ion rubbish, will benefit the environment? It will, in the same way that your oven causes Global Warming.
These days, we are made to believe that in ten years, our skin will boil, and we will suffocate with Carbon Monoxide, if we keep on going to work with our cars. I am sorry to report, but none of this will happen. The media is a powerful weapon, and we need to possess certain levels of guilt, in order to fall for preposterous vehicles like the G-Wiz and the Prius. We are told to use our bicycles, but every working man knows, that if his family uses bicycles, there will be some limitations. Remember that men are egos covered in skin, so getting on a bicycle to go to work, would be like running around the street naked, shouting that you've got Ebola. Your kids will be run over by an eco-friendly G-Wiz, and your wife will be raped on the side of the road, on her way home. And you have to go through all of this, because some smartly dressed wimp in New-York claims that the world will soon explode from overheating. And I can hazard a guess, of what car this middle aged, well dressed man is driving. A Porsche...Panamera...V8...493BHP. Its heat output puts the sun to shame, and its carbon footprint, will be enough for the photosynthesis of all vegetation in the universe.
But to get back on the topic of the scandalous Ferrari. Why should they make a hybrid, when they can fix the ''Carbon Offsetting'' problem in a trifle? Why don't they produce child bicycles which only require two prepubescent legs, and some ice cream to work? Why don't they buy a forest, and re-brand it as the ''Ferrari Jungle'' with bio-degradable cars for the kids to have fun with. This is perfectly acceptable by the rules of the ''UNFCCC'' and the ''Kyoto Protocol''. Come on Ferrari. Do not give us washing machines, because we won't like them. And just look at the thing... It is reminiscent of a squished rotten apple. And who thought of that colour?
But to get back on the topic of the scandalous Ferrari. Why should they make a hybrid, when they can fix the ''Carbon Offsetting'' problem in a trifle? Why don't they produce child bicycles which only require two prepubescent legs, and some ice cream to work? Why don't they buy a forest, and re-brand it as the ''Ferrari Jungle'' with bio-degradable cars for the kids to have fun with. This is perfectly acceptable by the rules of the ''UNFCCC'' and the ''Kyoto Protocol''. Come on Ferrari. Do not give us washing machines, because we won't like them. And just look at the thing... It is reminiscent of a squished rotten apple. And who thought of that colour?
- ''We have decided on dark green, because it resembles the product of secretion in the human nose.''
Ferrari...If you claim you are saving the planet, that would be like Sir Elton John claiming, he is a heterosexual... Even kids will laugh at it. Why don't you instead, make a bio-degradable chewing gum? It would be so much better.
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